Now Playing Tracks

I seriously just had to teach my mother some basics of parenting.

Both photos are of my daughter in October, the first in 2011, the second in 2012.  I let her pick out her own clothes, shoes, haircuts, hair colors, anything superficial, really.  She’s too young to understand the permanence of piercings, so she doesn’t have any.  But hair grows, shoes get grown out of, clothes go threadbare.  These things don’t really matter—shouldn’t really matter—but anyone raising a gender-variant child knows the world isn’t that kind.

My daughter recently requested a haircut like mine.  A long flop on top, pixie-length fade on the back and sides.  She’s been bugging me for weeks to color her hair again, I just haven’t had the time.  But today she came to me with the same shyness she keeps developing when outside our home; she’s being pressured by peers and family to look “normal,” to grow her hair long and uncolored, to dress a certain way (she hates to match), to indulge in self-consciousness, and alter or not alter her appearance to gain the approval of others, and society at large.

THIS FUCKING INFURIATES ME.

I called my mother tonight, because my daughter had become shy again, and didn’t want to color her hair anymore, and she said it was because of what her Nana had said to her.  My mother told me we should get that spray-on Halloween hair colors, so it wouldn’t be so “permanent” and my daughter could be “normal” again to avoid being bullied.

IT IS NOT THE JOB OF THE VICTIM TO STOP BEING BULLIED.  IT IS THE BULLY’S JOB TO STOP BULLYING.

I know she gets teased sometimes, and we always talk about it.  She stays strong and confident, so long as she has the support of those around her.  But what that support falters, or pulls a 180, she’s left to crash.

She also gets teased for liking dinosaurs and not dolls.  She gets teased for preferring roughhousing to playing house.  She gets teased for liking Lightning McQueen and not Cinderella.  Where do we draw the line?

My mother thinks this is a “minor” thing, that it’s better to just blend in.  But it would plant the seed of doubt, it forms the foundation for queer kids staying in the closet, for disabled kids to feel worthless, for young girls accepting abusive partners.  This is not “minor,” it is fucking MAJOR, because this is my daughter’s foundation, and it will shape her life.

Support your fucking kids.  Let them be who they want to be, look how they want to look, and play how they want to play.  And make sure they know that you will love them no matter what.

148,633 notes

  1. ichihimeluv reblogged this from saturninesonata and added:
    Your daughter is fucking adorable.
  2. stormlyht reblogged this from littlemrsredd
  3. kitty-thug reblogged this from aliciaaadanielle
  4. beautiful-slow-death reblogged this from queef-stew
  5. theabsentwriter reblogged this from beesandrobins
  6. mcfaboulous reblogged this from pizza-with-satan
  7. pizza-with-satan reblogged this from captainneverthere and added:
    Of I don’t delighting, assume I was hit by a train
  8. lyliamasquerade reblogged this from jessicamdawn
  9. mylittlesecretmglitters reblogged this from hildidrawsdicks
  10. interl0per74 reblogged this from bunnika
  11. akeeko reblogged this from hildidrawsdicks
  12. arthurrawrdriguez reblogged this from hildidrawsdicks
  13. sigmundi reblogged this from fuckyeahlgbt
  14. brataly reblogged this from mamamidnight
  15. evil-alien-penguins reblogged this from hildidrawsdicks
  16. just-be-you1234321 reblogged this from randomfandomrp
  17. kakashivillafuerte reblogged this from junkoinyourtrunko
  18. ferra-itt reblogged this from gingervora
  19. persephonevvvfalling reblogged this from deadjosey
  20. emmyandsuch reblogged this from thefloatingfudge and added:
    She is BEAUTIFUL
  21. annatoxx reblogged this from floralmccormick
  22. moons-grand-bullshit-adventure reblogged this from junkoinyourtrunko
  23. junkoinyourtrunko reblogged this from queef-stew
  24. thefloatingfudge reblogged this from supermuffnutt
  25. floralmccormick reblogged this from randomfandomrp
  26. randomfandomrp reblogged this from hildidrawsdicks
  27. supermuffnutt reblogged this from optionaltay
To Tumblr, Love Pixel Union