Now Playing Tracks

I seriously just had to teach my mother some basics of parenting.

Both photos are of my daughter in October, the first in 2011, the second in 2012.  I let her pick out her own clothes, shoes, haircuts, hair colors, anything superficial, really.  She’s too young to understand the permanence of piercings, so she doesn’t have any.  But hair grows, shoes get grown out of, clothes go threadbare.  These things don’t really matter—shouldn’t really matter—but anyone raising a gender-variant child knows the world isn’t that kind.

My daughter recently requested a haircut like mine.  A long flop on top, pixie-length fade on the back and sides.  She’s been bugging me for weeks to color her hair again, I just haven’t had the time.  But today she came to me with the same shyness she keeps developing when outside our home; she’s being pressured by peers and family to look “normal,” to grow her hair long and uncolored, to dress a certain way (she hates to match), to indulge in self-consciousness, and alter or not alter her appearance to gain the approval of others, and society at large.


I called my mother tonight, because my daughter had become shy again, and didn’t want to color her hair anymore, and she said it was because of what her Nana had said to her.  My mother told me we should get that spray-on Halloween hair colors, so it wouldn’t be so “permanent” and my daughter could be “normal” again to avoid being bullied.


I know she gets teased sometimes, and we always talk about it.  She stays strong and confident, so long as she has the support of those around her.  But what that support falters, or pulls a 180, she’s left to crash.

She also gets teased for liking dinosaurs and not dolls.  She gets teased for preferring roughhousing to playing house.  She gets teased for liking Lightning McQueen and not Cinderella.  Where do we draw the line?

My mother thinks this is a “minor” thing, that it’s better to just blend in.  But it would plant the seed of doubt, it forms the foundation for queer kids staying in the closet, for disabled kids to feel worthless, for young girls accepting abusive partners.  This is not “minor,” it is fucking MAJOR, because this is my daughter’s foundation, and it will shape her life.

Support your fucking kids.  Let them be who they want to be, look how they want to look, and play how they want to play.  And make sure they know that you will love them no matter what.

167,318 notes

  1. eyelandss reblogged this from lunar--bunny
  2. lunar--bunny reblogged this from sasnak01
  3. mrsfuentes1 reblogged this from crowdedteethh
  4. disappearinglives reblogged this from baygaker
  5. mel87kel reblogged this from ew---society
  6. short-annie reblogged this from laura-aurora
  7. you-arent-a-bandmember reblogged this from hello-imweird
  8. bunnehswithhotrodflames reblogged this from dragon-hoard and added:
    (Slow clap)
  9. ninjainmaking reblogged this from dragon-hoard
  10. kjell-e reblogged this from anxietyowl
  11. rhirhijezza reblogged this from my-inis-mona
  12. anxietyowl reblogged this from dragon-hoard
  13. my-inis-mona reblogged this from dragon-hoard
  14. defieroffayt reblogged this from ex-cinere-surgimus
  15. ex-cinere-surgimus reblogged this from dragon-hoard
  16. dalish-defender reblogged this from dragon-hoard
  17. dragon-hoard reblogged this from houseofgriffons
  18. littlepunknalia reblogged this from nolifepepper
  19. nolifepepper reblogged this from pterquillz
  20. captainxjack reblogged this from captainxjack
  21. squishy-kor reblogged this from queen-of-dork
  22. sarahsalwaysright reblogged this from ffukx
  23. ffukx reblogged this from shopnastynasty
  24. thatshortginger reblogged this from somebourgeoistwo-a-pennything
  25. somebourgeoistwo-a-pennything reblogged this from les-daniellerables
  26. feetdeceit reblogged this from assbuttsofarendelle
  27. legalizeluv reblogged this from ew---society
  28. ew---society reblogged this from mychemicalmonsters
  29. hello-imweird reblogged this from marcel-themarketing-guy and added:
  30. bluekillers reblogged this from seraph5
To Tumblr, Love Pixel Union